I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
