Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
