she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You pole danced in your parka.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
