I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize