Betty ford says i'm here all night
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
