i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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