my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
