Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
NoShamevember. You game?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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