Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
