Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
