I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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