i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
