I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize