FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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