How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
