My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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