In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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