Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
