Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
