just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
