Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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