Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
