somebody snuck up and got me drunk
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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