i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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