You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
