I murdered the dance floor call the cops
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
that is very illegal...i love you.
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