i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i out mim tonsoeep
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