have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
