Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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