if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
