I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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