And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
