You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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