oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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