I wanna bring you to show and tell
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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