Im at strip club and am horny
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
