...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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