Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
