What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
