Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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