Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
love makes seman taste better
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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