It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
