Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
