and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
