All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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