i barfeds in our rink
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize