Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
