Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
