i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
