i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize