i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
