was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize