STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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