Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Girls should come with a carfax report
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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