Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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