I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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