Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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