Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
