Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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